The Personal Journey: Understanding Cultural Self-Worth in a Global World

Growing up in Asia, I developed a fondness for what most people would call ‘sappy songs’ or ballads. Thanks to platforms like Spotify and YouTube, I can now indulge in this guilty pleasure without drawing too much ridicule from friends and family.

“唉，我也爱面子啊! (Ah… I too care about face!)"

I recently heard this from a song that stopped me in my tracks: “用木剑来争吵，为尊严而摔倒” ("Arguing with a wooden sword, falling for the sake of dignity"). These words resonated with me, prompting a moment of self-reflection – If you’re curious, it’s from a  2018 song by 薛之谦 (Joker Xue—I admit, I find the name delightfully random).

The song took me back to a different time in my life, when my career was advancing rapidly. I had built a reputation as the go-to person who always got things done—the one who eagerly put their hand up for every challenge and was always accommodating. I was the last to leave the office, often walking around to check on everyone before finally heading out. My availability extended beyond office hours, taking odd-hour conference calls that often came at the expense of my personal life.

I bent over backwards to help my team or colleagues, never hesitating to go the extra mile. Despite being recognised as a high-performer, I kept pushing myself harder, convinced I needed to do more to prove my worth - I mustn't fail myself or my team. I felt unstoppable, charging forward with determination and energy—but unaware of the toll it was quietly taking on me.

Eventually, my relentless drive led to what I now recognise as burnout. I found myself resenting colleagues who didn’t put in the same hours or didn’t seem as “switched on.” The burnout hit me hard in my late 30s—like slamming into that proverbial wall you can see coming halfway between Sydney and Perth. I took time off to recover, only to find myself repeating the same cycle a few years later. As the saying goes, "Work hard, play hard," but with the benefit of hindsight, I’d add, "crash hard."

So, what does all of this have to do with a sappy song from 2018? The lyrics describe my experience perfectly. I argued and fought over trivial matters, convincing myself I must do better and go higher for the sake of 尊严 (dignity). But in hindsight, it wasn’t all about dignity, it was more about 面子 (face).

This realisation made me question who I was at the time. Was my sense of self built around external recognition and others' perceptions, or something deeper and more inherent? In Chinese culture, the balance between 面子 and 尊严 is intrinsically linked often reflected in our self-identity, shaping not only how we see ourselves but also how we present ourselves to others.  These experiences don’t just shape personal growth but have profound implications for leadership and team dynamics in our professional lives.

Decoding 面子 and 尊严: The Dual Pillars of Cultural Self-Perception

In Chinese culture, dignity (尊严) and face (面子) are interconnected yet distinct aspects of self-identity, influencing decisions and interactions in unique ways. While 尊严 reflects intrinsic self-worth tied to personal integrity, 面子 depends on external validation and social reputation. Together, they shape a relational self-concept that contrasts with the individualistic emphasis on personal autonomy often seen in Western cultures.

尊严 (Dignity) – The Core of Self-Worth: 尊严 refers to an individual's inherent sense of worth and self-respect, shaped by adherence to personal values and moral integrity. It balances internal self-respect with external recognition of honour and integrity, reflecting one's internal moral compass. In Western contexts, dignity is often seen as intrinsic and universal, rooted in personal autonomy and authenticity, and less reliant on external validation (Markus & Kitayama, 1991; Bedford & Hwang, 2003).

面子 (Face) – External Validation of Self-Worth: 面子 represents an individual's social standing, reputation, and how they are perceived by others within a community. Unlike 尊严, it relies heavily on external validation and maintaining appearances to preserve social harmony and relationships. This aligns with findings by Ho (1976), who emphasises the role of face in maintaining social harmony and interpersonal dynamics in collectivist cultures. In Western cultures, the closest equivalent—pride or reputation—tends to focus on avoiding embarrassment rather than fulfilling collective expectations (Triandis, 1995; Ting-Toomey, 1988). These contrasts highlight the relational and community-oriented focus of the East versus the individualistic values of the West (Hwang, 1987; Triandis, 1995).

Cultural Identity in the Workplace: A Guide for Professionals

These cultural concepts not only shape personal identity but also influence how we engage with others, especially in professional contexts. For many, the interplay between face and dignity can profoundly impact leadership styles, team management, and personal growth (Gelfand et al., 2006). Understanding these dynamics is crucial in today’s multicultural environments, where differing perspectives on self-identity and validation can lead to either growth or conflict (Fang, 2003; Chen & Starosta, 1997).

Let’s explore how recognising the nuances of face and dignity can impact leadership, cross-cultural team management, and your journey toward personal and professional authenticity.

Leadership Dynamics: Bridging Cultural Communication Gaps

Navigating the balance between 面子 (face) and 尊严 (dignity) is crucial for leaders, especially in cross-cultural environments. In East Asian contexts, maintaining face often means avoiding direct confrontation or public criticism to preserve harmony and relationships. By contrast, Western leadership styles tend to prioritise transparency, accountability, and direct communication, even if it risks discomfort. Understanding this dynamic is the foundation for fostering trust and collaboration in diverse teams, where both cultural norms and individual dignity can coexist.

As a leader, reflect on your own practices:

• What assumptions might you hold about 'effective' communication that are shaped by your cultural background?

• How might your feedback mechanisms favour certain communication styles over others?

• What signals could you be missing from quieter team members who may hesitate to speak up?

By recognising these differences, leaders can create environments that respect both cultural norms and individual dignity, ensuring that every voice is heard and valued.

Cross-Cultural Team Management: Strategies for Inclusive Leadership

Managing a diverse team requires sensitivity to how face and dignity shape behaviours. For instance, an employee from a collectivist culture may avoid raising concerns in a group setting to prevent loss of face, while a Western colleague might interpret this as a lack of initiative. These contrasting behaviours can lead to misunderstandings if not addressed.

To foster inclusivity, ask yourself:

• How do cultural values influence how your team members express their ideas or concerns?

• What steps can you take to ensure quieter voices feel safe to contribute?

• What would be possible if you created space for different type of communication styles to thrive?

Encouraging open communication and adapting to different cultural norms ensures a more inclusive team environment. By understanding how face and dignity influence interactions, managers can bridge gaps effectively, leveraging diversity as a strength rather than a challenge.

Practical Strategies for Managing Face and Dignity at Work

First, start by developing your self-awareness, by knowing your own tendencies. Are you prioritising external validation (face) over your intrinsic values (dignity)? Recognising these patterns is the first step toward change. For example, ask yourself whether a decision aligns with your personal values or if it’s driven by the need to appease others.

Strategies:

1. Reframe Success: Define success on your own terms. Focus on internal growth and achievements that align with your values rather than solely chasing external accolades.

2. Encourage Open Communication: If you’re leading a team, create spaces where individuals can express their concerns without fear of losing face.

3. Model Authenticity: Demonstrate the balance between dignity and face by holding yourself accountable while respecting others' boundaries.

4. Seek Cultural Understanding: Invest time in learning about cultural values and how they influence interactions. This can help you navigate complex dynamics with greater sensitivity.

Personal Growth and Professional Coaching: Navigating Cultural Complexity

Let’s be honest—this is hard work. Shifting deeply ingrained habits and cultural conditioning takes time and effort. But recognising the issues at play is an essential first step. By becoming aware of how face and dignity shape our behaviours and decisions, we open the door to more authentic and meaningful interactions.

Working with a Coach

Sometimes, navigating these dynamics alone can feel overwhelming. That’s where working with a culturally aware coach can make a difference. Having a sounding board who understands your unique circumstances not only helps you unpack these challenges but also provides the tools and strategies to grow. Whether you’re a leader, a professional managing a diverse team, or someone simply seeking personal growth, the journey toward balancing face, dignity, and self-identity is well worth the effort.

Beyond Borders: Transforming Cultural Understanding into Leadership Strength

As the Cantonese saying goes, "面系人啲畀，架系自己丢" ("Face is given by others; dignity is lost by yourself"). This wisdom encapsulates a universal truth about the interplay between external validation and internal integrity. While others may bestow respect and recognition (面子), only you can safeguard your dignity (尊严).

In today's interconnected world, understanding and balancing these cultural dynamics isn't just helpful—it's essential for effective leadership. Whether you're leading a team across borders or navigating your own professional growth, the ability to honour both face and dignity can transform challenges into opportunities for meaningful connection and authentic leadership.

References

1. Markus, H. R., & Kitayama, S. (1991). Culture and the Self: Implications for Cognition, Emotion, and Motivation. Psychological Review, 98(2), 224–253.

2. Bedford, O., & Hwang, K. K. (2003). Guilt and Shame in Chinese Culture: A Cross‐Cultural Framework from the Perspective of Morality and Identity. Journal for the Theory of Social Behaviour, 33(2), 127–144.

3. Ho, D. Y. F. (1976). On the Concept of Face. American Journal of Sociology, 81(4), 867–884.

4. Ting-Toomey, S. (1988). Intercultural Conflict Styles: A Face-Negotiation Theory. Communication Monographs, 55(3), 241–259.

5. Triandis, H. C. (1995). Individualism and Collectivism. Westview Press.

6. Hwang, K. K. (1987). Face and Favor: The Chinese Power Game. American Journal of Sociology, 92(4), 944–974.

7. Gelfand, M. J., et al. (2006). Negotiating Relationally: The Dynamics of the Relational Self in Negotiations. Academy of Management Review, 31(2), 427–451.

8. Fang, T. (2003). A Critique of Hofstede's Fifth National Culture Dimension. International Journal of Cross-Cultural Management, 3(3), 347–368.

9. Chen, G. M., & Starosta, W. J. (1997). A Review of the Concept of Intercultural Sensitivity. Human Communication, 1(1), 1–16.